After effects

It’s now three years since I had the face sarcoma, I’m feeling frustrated and low at the moment. Having survived the cancer for the third time, I found myself out of work in August 2014 and I’ve found I either don’t have enough qualifications for posts that I should be able to do or as soon as a perspective employer discovers that I have no teeth doors seem to close for me.

It has been a long wait to have my reconstruction completed and having finally been granted funds for implants and then new teeth on the NHS I discovered that I’m on yet another waiting list that could be anything from six months to a year.

In the mean time I’m lucky if I get some agency work to keep the wolves from the door, along with this I’ve discovered if you work for agency you don’t get much support from unemployment who just want you to sign off if you’re working for an agency.

With the fact I now use a stick to get from A-B but not whilst at work, I just need some support on my leg and ankle but enough that some positions would leave me in pain and my ankle swells up so jobs standing up all day are out.


World Cancer Day

Today is World Cancer Day. Did you know there are over 200 different types of cancer? You can develop cancer in any organ of the body. And there are over 60 organs of the body where cancer can develop.

To find out about the many different types and things to look for drop into:

Let us think of some of those rarer cancers around the world and people suffering with Cancer every day not just today.

Once diagnosed with any type of Cancer you live with it for the rest of your life not just on Awareness days.

Where do I go from here?

It has now been 18 months since this latest attack of cancer started. I find myself asking the question where do I go from here? How do I get my life back on course?

I was always a person with low confidence and self esteem which now seems even worse.

I still have no teeth. A slightly lop-sided mouth.

Do I try and get back to my old career or try and find a new one.

My choices are:

  • Teaching Assistant.
  • Proof Reading.
  • Or some sort of office job but what I have no idea.

I will still need further treatment so is it still to early to be thinking along these lines?

In the past I could never succeed in landing a job (only could get as far as interview) which doesn’t help confidence stakes.

I am attending a job shop with MacMillan Cancer Centre at the UCLH with hopes they can help me and check over my CV.

I have been signed up to a getting back to work programme by the job centre but after one phone call in November I haven’t heard anything more from them.


Marvellous group of people.

Yesterday I went to the hospital where my treatment is taking place. There I attended a head and neck cancer patient group. This has never been done before. It came about because when I had one of my stays in the hospital I helped another lady who was very distressed after her reconstruction operation and the hospital realised that there was a gap in the services that they offered.

There were around seven of us all with sarcoma but different types plus a few support partners. During the course of the afternoon which was very emotional for some we discovered that although we had different types of sarcoma’s there were also similarities between us and our treatment.

There were some amazing stories of different journeys some finished and some like mine still ongoing.

I also found out about an organization called changing faces which I will blog more about when I’ve looked into it in more detail.

I wish to thank you all for sharing your journeys with me and listening to mine. Thanks also go to the McMillan support centre for hosting the meeting and listening to our views on how future patients maybe helped and supported,

Head and neck cancer is such a difficult journey as everything is out there for others to see, we have all had our dark periods and come out the other side. Now we have to learn how to live life after the cancer and move on to a new stage in our lives.

Hoping to hear from you all in the future.


Ten Things

I got this idea from a friend on Facebook but I’ve added what I’d like to do in 2013, Thank you for the idea, my friend.

Ten things I did in 2012:

  1. Passed Word Specialist 2007.
  2. Passed Excel Specialist 2007.
  3. Passed PowerPoint Specialist 2007.
  4. Created a blog.
  5. Passed Better Blogging with CTJT, with a Merit.
  6. Watched my daughter leave home.
  7. Was finally discharged from Breast Clinic.
  8. Finished Chemotherapy for the second time.
  9. Had tumour in mouth removed, plus five other operations.
  10. Survived CANCER again.

Ten Things I’d like to do in 3013:

  1. Make new Friends.
  2. Support others.
  3. Complete Teaching Assistant NVQ3.
  4. Complete and pass Proof Editing Course.
  5. Get a new job.
  6. Have a good relationship with my daughter.
  7. Pay off some debts.
  8. Have my mouth reconstruction finished, and have a full set of teeth implanted.
  9. Eat a meal without worrying if I can eat what’s on the menu.
  10. Survive Cancer another year.

What would you put on your list?



Happy New Year

2012-12-28 18.50.49

I hope you all had a good Christmas.

As I said in my last post, I went back into hospital just before Christmas, to have a screw and a plate removed, plus a hole repaired at the back of my flap. My tracheotomy scar was also redone supposedly to improve it but I’m not too sure at the present whether it has improved or if it’s worse now. They tell me that the operation went well but I’m going to wait and see after the swelling has gone down as I write this I think I still have a small hole, where the flap at the moment is so thick my surgeon told me it is a bit like seeing cheese and the stitches just pull through so only a few stitches were used hoping to let nature do the rest.

I wish you all a Happy New Year let’s hope for improvements for us all in the year to come.

Wishing you all health and happiness for 2013.

My favourite things

With Christmas just round the corner I was thinking about what my favourite things about Christmas. For me Christmas dinner is what makes Christmas for me is sitting down to dinner at the table. With all our rushing around these days Christmas dinner is the one meal that everyone can sit down together as a family.

With my children now grown up and have their own lives my Christmas dinner this year has already happened and with me not being able to eat everything, but this didn’t spoil our family Christmas dinner.

What makes Christmas special for you?

I’ve just had operation number six for this year, and made it home for Christmas thanks to all the staff at University College Hospital, London, UK.

My mouth is very tender and sore.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!