Before and After


The picture on the left was taken in 2008 after my first cancer treatment and whilst still married to my ex-husband. The picture on the right was taken last week. Admittedly I have been aware of what I eat since this last bout of cancer.

Since the first picture I’ve lost 8cm off my hips and 7cm from my waist. This has probably been made easier by the fact a lot of foods that are not good for you I can’t eat anyway. I do now consciously watch what I eat and exercise on a stationary bile and use a pro swinger.

I’m quite proud of the new me.



Where do I go from here?

It has now been 18 months since this latest attack of cancer started. I find myself asking the question where do I go from here? How do I get my life back on course?

I was always a person with low confidence and self esteem which now seems even worse.

I still have no teeth. A slightly lop-sided mouth.

Do I try and get back to my old career or try and find a new one.

My choices are:

  • Teaching Assistant.
  • Proof Reading.
  • Or some sort of office job but what I have no idea.

I will still need further treatment so is it still to early to be thinking along these lines?

In the past I could never succeed in landing a job (only could get as far as interview) which doesn’t help confidence stakes.

I am attending a job shop with MacMillan Cancer Centre at the UCLH with hopes they can help me and check over my CV.

I have been signed up to a getting back to work programme by the job centre but after one phone call in November I haven’t heard anything more from them.


How do you keep warm?

With the current cold weather it is important to find ways to keep warm. Some of the things I do to keep the winter chills at bay without running up an enormous electric bill are:

  • The use of layers of clothing its actually easier to keep heat in using layers rather than thick clothing.
  • Wearing fingerless gloves so I can still type etc.
  • Believable or not if I’m really cold I’ll even put a hat on. A person loses most of their warmth through their head.
  • Hot meals, casseroles, stews and soup.
  • Make sure all doors are kept shut to keep the heat in.
  • Use a tumble drier which helps circulating the warm air in the kitchen even if the tumble has an extractor taking away much of the air you will still get some warmth coming from the machine.

What sort of things do you do to keep warm?

Happy New Year

2012-12-28 18.50.49

I hope you all had a good Christmas.

As I said in my last post, I went back into hospital just before Christmas, to have a screw and a plate removed, plus a hole repaired at the back of my flap. My tracheotomy scar was also redone supposedly to improve it but I’m not too sure at the present whether it has improved or if it’s worse now. They tell me that the operation went well but I’m going to wait and see after the swelling has gone down as I write this I think I still have a small hole, where the flap at the moment is so thick my surgeon told me it is a bit like seeing cheese and the stitches just pull through so only a few stitches were used hoping to let nature do the rest.

I wish you all a Happy New Year let’s hope for improvements for us all in the year to come.

Wishing you all health and happiness for 2013.

My favourite things

With Christmas just round the corner I was thinking about what my favourite things about Christmas. For me Christmas dinner is what makes Christmas for me is sitting down to dinner at the table. With all our rushing around these days Christmas dinner is the one meal that everyone can sit down together as a family.

With my children now grown up and have their own lives my Christmas dinner this year has already happened and with me not being able to eat everything, but this didn’t spoil our family Christmas dinner.

What makes Christmas special for you?

I’ve just had operation number six for this year, and made it home for Christmas thanks to all the staff at University College Hospital, London, UK.

My mouth is very tender and sore.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!

It's nearly Christmas a season of good will!

As we approach Christmas it brings to my mind what Christmas is really about. Its not about the presents. In my mind its about thinking of others and I think of all those that have crossed my path both physically and on social networking. I feel grateful to have got to know you all and for that I thank you. I am not religious but I still think of you and keep you close to my heart and in my daily thoughts. It’s with the support of friends just as much as family and close family that helps me through.

It helps to share ups and downs as I go along the road on my cancer journey.

On a positive note I have finally been dismissed for the Breast Cancer Care clinic.

What are your wishes from Santa for myself its to have my family around and a new full set of teeth but that’s not going to be this year maybe next.

As I Approach Yet Another Operation.

Today as I waited around in the hospital for another round of tests and seeing the various members of my surgical team. A man came into the waiting area with the tip of his nose missing making me think that no matter what we have to deal with, we find the strength from somewhere deep within ourselves.

I was only thinking the other day that when I hear of someone else feeling down I always seem to then feel down myself. Then this gentleman walked in seeming to be totally at ease with his own situation. We all think at some point that we can’t cope with what life throws at us. Yet no matter what we have our black moments pick ourselves up dust our selves down and fight for another day.

Unfortunately when we receive that dreaded cancer diagnosis, its like being given I life sentence.

I know for myself that after the breast cancer in 1999 I always felt I would never be free as its always there just in the background of each and every check-up will I be OK this time has it come back and now I have to have regular chest x-rays because my latest cancer can come back via the lungs. Its always a huge sense of relief when your told its all clear for another few months.